What I Learned Today

The difference between the maturity of a 4th grader and an 8th grader is not that profound. They think they are very sneaky and hilarious. They think the rules don't apply to them and they like to push the limit till something gets broken.
For some reason the years between 14 and 16 profoundly impact the maturity of students. For some reason, 11th graders are light years more mature than their 8th graded compadres.

Worst Nightmare

We had an awesome weekend because the amazing Sarah Burnett came for a little visit! Sarah and her sister Becky came and saw the Antics' "Ladies Night" show. All female cast, tons of awesome improv. Both Sarah and Becky told me after the show that doing improv would be their  worst nightmare. Getting on a stage in front of an audience, having no idea what is going to come out of your mouth next, and you have to somehow make these people laugh. Apparently the most common phobia of them all is public speaking, but that is probably because not as many people know about improv.

The next morning, Sarah and Becky got up bright and early to run in the Top of Utah Marathon. Hmm...waking up and the crack of dawn to travel 26.2 miles on foot as quickly as possible, where other people can watch you puke, and there are no lunch breaks. Not only are there no lunch breaks, there is only water every other mile, and you can't take more than six hours. Oh, and you have to pay to do this. That sounds like my worst nightmare.

I'm glad that we could cheer each other on in our crazy hobbies! I promise I will never make you do improv, Sarah, if you never make me run a marathon.

A lot of firsts

This is the first fall that hasn't seen me going back to school.

Last week was my first experience as a teacher.

This week I had my first visit with a Chiropractor.

I've always vaguely felt that chiropractors were hookum, feel-good hippie doctors, and I'm not convinced that I am wrong. I mean, yeah, it involved x-rays and impressive looking diagrams, but it also involved some guy cracking my back and spending ten minutes on a water bed that shoots bubbles at my back. Apparently, my spine is out of alignment and my neck is very confused about how to hold itself. I am told that cracking my back and water bedding will be an effective remedy. Despite my skepticism, I did notice that afterwards that my neck felt the same way it does after Alexander Technique, so I am more or less convinced it will be helpful.

For those of you unfamiliar with AT, it is a technique that was developed by an actor around the turn of the century when he discovered that the way he walked, sat, and generally held his body effected his voice. Through further study, Alexander Technique has become like a special kind of yoga for singers, because it is so effective in  bringing about good posture, which in turns promotes good breathing, which leads rather directly to healthy vocal production.

I realize that, to most of you, AT will sound a lot more like "hippie medicine" than a chiropractor. I recognize the inconsistency of my prejudices and defend myself with the ever so mature "You're not the boss of me! It's a free country!"

I also begrudgingly admit that if I had gone to a regular ole doctor, he/she probably would have just referred me to a chiropractor to clear up my back pain. I guess I wouldn't still be struggling against my prejudice if  I hadn't seen a sign in the office that says that medicine doesn't cure people, it just covers up the symptoms. I guess these guys were still living under their hippie rocks when antibiotics and vaccinations happened.

New Perspective

I now have experienced what is considered by many to be the worst job in existence: Substitute teaching. Actually, maybe only teachers feel that way. Overall, I felt I did pretty well. I didn't lose any students and no one died.
I remember that my fifth grade class could make substitutes cry, because it wasn't just one or two of the students acting out, it was a dozen students acting out. In retrospect, that was cruel. However, all the sub needed to do was make an example of the ring leaders. Send them (us) to the office, take away recess, separate talkers from their compatriots, and give them (us) the evil eye.
I think my past dealings with substitutes have made me more prepared. I was so often part of the nightmare classroom that now those classes are no longer nightmares, they're just an excuse to cut the cute stuff and go straight for the threats and glowering.

Happy Birthday Lee!

I apologize in advance that our camera isn't working so we don't have any pictures. I will insert random  images from Google to make this post more interesting.

I think we are finally done celebrating Lee's birthday!

The cake I made didn't look as cute as this.

Celebrations are best when they are drawn out over several days, which is exactly what we did this last week. On Tuesday (Aug. 28) we went to the Brigham City Temple open house with our friends Amanda and Jon Jones.

Located approximately here, in my imagination.

Since it was Jon's Birthday on Tuesday and Lee's Birthday on Wednesday, Amanda and I arranged for a little surprise party to be in place when we got back to Logan. We ate cake and pizza, played games, and were successful in being sneaky. They didn't suspect a thing.

This is a rough sketch of what Lee looked like when everyone yelled "Surprise!!"

On Lee's real birthday, (Aug 29) we didn't have much time to celebrate. With work and school and meetings, we had a lot going on. We did, however, get all our meals for free compliments of Cal-Con, and Lee loved his present!

I thought you would like something you can use everyday without thinking about it or caring.

We continued our celebrating on Saturday when Mom and Dad came to Logan to take us to dinner and buy us some groceries. Mom also gave Lee a documentary mini-series Engineering and Empire. It combines history and engineering, so we have both enjoyed it quite a bit. In fact, we've watched most of it already.

We loooove it! But that might be  because HypnoToad is the narrator.

The final celebration came when Lee's family drove up to Bear Lake and invited us along. We spent Monday at the Lake, playing on the beach, and building sandcastles.

Don't twitch when the flies walk on your eyeballs, or Mom will realize this is just a prank.

We got the famed Old Ephraim pizza (a 28" monstrosity that the six of us couldn't finish.)

Approximately this big.

As is tradition, we got sunburned. Lee's back is a loverly shade of lobster pink, and I think I will have a new tan before the end of the week!

Honey, I swear I put sunblock on you!!

Now it's back to the old grindstone, but thanks to everyone that made this an awesomely extended birthday!

Road trip to Seattle

This was my first time in the north west, first time in Seattle. We had a lovely time. As we were driving to Washington, I learned a few things. First off, Idaho in August is the ugliest place on earth. It's yellow grass, black rock, wild fires, and it is the worst place to drive. Secondly, it is illegal to pump your own gas in the state of Oregon. They have reverted to the archaic tradition of gas station attendants. They hire people who are generally the type of people I would put at the top of my "Strangers Most Likely to Rob Me" list. Third, the eastern part of Washington looks an awful lot like Idaho. I have been trained to believe that the north west is a super green forest. When we crossed the border into Washington and it was still disgustingly dry and treeless, I was like, "Ha ha. What?" It became pretty and green after a while, but eastern Washington is a terrible place.

 Seattle has a lot of beautiful parks. The ducks that live in those parks have zero fear of people. They will eat out of your hand, we even got them jumping for food. Awesome.

 The city center has lots of cool stuff, including this funky modern art statue. And a great Science Center!

 This nice old guy working at the Science Center had some Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches for us to hold. Mine was either asleep or dead, cause it wasn't movin'!

 You probably can't see any of the butterflies in this picture, but we were in the butterfly habitat.

 Lee sits in a rocket thing...We pose with an animatronic dinosaur...This is a fun place!

 The King Tut exhibit was visiting the Seattle Science Center, so we took the opportunity to look at some very old Egyptian statues and treasure.

 This is the King Tut statue. Pretty rad. Posing in pictures wasn't allowed in the exhibit out of respect. I assume because they were scared an ancient curse or something. We got around that in one photo by having me walk around behind the mini sarcophagus that once housed King Tut's stomach!

 I'm the non-golden one in the background pretending not to pose.

 As you look at these two photos, you might be thinking that we are crazily tight rope biking. I assure you it was totally safe because of science.

 When Megan got off work (she's the pregnant one in the photo) She took us to the pier for some great seafood.

 We also saw the famous gum wall by Pike's Place Market.

 The gum was not as appetizing as these cupcakes from Cupcake Royale.

 We literally scraped and licked the wrappers clean.

 On Tuesday we went to the Seattle Temple. The GPS tried to kill us on the way there, but we managed to outsmart it.

After the Temple, we went on a tour of the Theo's chocolate factory. We tasted an 85% Cacao chocolate bar, as well as a milk chocolate coconut curry bar. We learned how chocolate is made and what it smells like in a chocolate factory. We also learned how expensive chocolate would be if farmers were actually paid real money and didn't involve child laborers. Short answer: a lot.

We had so much fun staying with Megan and Mitch, we really wished we could have stayed longer! It was fun playing games and hanging out with them. We are definitely going to have to go back and visit when little baby Aubree is born!

You've Been Warned.

I realized today that I am the worst person to go to the theatre with. Today Lee and I went on a double date to see My Fair Lady, a fine production by the Utah Festival Opera. Let me start by saying that I really enjoyed it. The orchestra was stellar, the chorus was unbelievable, Michael Ballam even pulled off a very entertaining Alfred P. Doolittle. But...
The "but..." is the reason no one (except my former roommate Jess Wallace) enjoys watching live theatre with me. I had to wait till we were walking to the car to talk about how disappointed I was in Vanessa Ballam--you read that right, BALLAM--as the leading lady, and it nearly killed me to hold it in for that long. Well, I whispered to Lee at intermission and he agreed with me. I assume because he knows better than to disagree with me about music stuff. For all the hype I have heard about how talented she is, her voice was...terrible. Presumably she was over-singing because she was exhausted by the month of non-stop shows. Maybe her vocal technique is just bad, but it was like a caricature of an opera singer without the power and tonal quality of the real thing. I would have been okay with that in a community theatre production, but this is a professional production!!
I know I am pretentious. I hate when people mispronounce Notre Dame, I correct people who say "Multiple Personality Disorder" instead of "Dissociative Identity Disorder," and I am seriously offended by those jerks who show up to a play late and have the nerve to waddle in front of me like they deserve to sit down. I think that the lowest circle of Hell is reserved for people who don't turn off their phones at the theatre and talk during the overature.
Now, I realize that not everybody has the same prejudices as myself, but I am not very good at censoring my thoughts. So if you and I ever decide to go to a show, you knew what I was when you picked me up.