Thursday, August 23, 2012

Road trip to Seattle

This was my first time in the north west, first time in Seattle. We had a lovely time. As we were driving to Washington, I learned a few things. First off, Idaho in August is the ugliest place on earth. It's yellow grass, black rock, wild fires, and it is the worst place to drive. Secondly, it is illegal to pump your own gas in the state of Oregon. They have reverted to the archaic tradition of gas station attendants. They hire people who are generally the type of people I would put at the top of my "Strangers Most Likely to Rob Me" list. Third, the eastern part of Washington looks an awful lot like Idaho. I have been trained to believe that the north west is a super green forest. When we crossed the border into Washington and it was still disgustingly dry and treeless, I was like, "Ha ha. What?" It became pretty and green after a while, but eastern Washington is a terrible place.

 Seattle has a lot of beautiful parks. The ducks that live in those parks have zero fear of people. They will eat out of your hand, we even got them jumping for food. Awesome.
 The city center has lots of cool stuff, including this funky modern art statue. And a great Science Center!
 This nice old guy working at the Science Center had some Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches for us to hold. Mine was either asleep or dead, cause it wasn't movin'!
 You probably can't see any of the butterflies in this picture, but we were in the butterfly habitat.
 Lee sits in a rocket thing...We pose with an animatronic dinosaur...This is a fun place!
 The King Tut exhibit was visiting the Seattle Science Center, so we took the opportunity to look at some very old Egyptian statues and treasure.
 This is the King Tut statue. Pretty rad. Posing in pictures wasn't allowed in the exhibit out of respect. I assume because they were scared an ancient curse or something. We got around that in one photo by having me walk around behind the mini sarcophagus that once housed King Tut's stomach!
 I'm the non-golden one in the background pretending not to pose.
 As you look at these two photos, you might be thinking that we are crazily tight rope biking. I assure you it was totally safe because of science.

 When Megan got off work (she's the pregnant one in the photo) She took us to the pier for some great seafood.
 We also saw the famous gum wall by Pike's Place Market.
 The gum was not as appetizing as these cupcakes from Cupcake Royale.
 We literally scraped and licked the wrappers clean.
 On Tuesday we went to the Seattle Temple. The GPS tried to kill us on the way there, but we managed to outsmart it.
After the Temple, we went on a tour of the Theo's chocolate factory. We tasted an 85% Cacao chocolate bar, as well as a milk chocolate coconut curry bar. We learned how chocolate is made and what it smells like in a chocolate factory. We also learned how expensive chocolate would be if farmers were actually paid real money and didn't involve child laborers. Short answer: a lot.
We had so much fun staying with Megan and Mitch, we really wished we could have stayed longer! It was fun playing games and hanging out with them. We are definitely going to have to go back and visit when little baby Aubree is born!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

You've Been Warned.

I realized today that I am the worst person to go to the theatre with. Today Lee and I went on a double date to see My Fair Lady, a fine production by the Utah Festival Opera. Let me start by saying that I really enjoyed it. The orchestra was stellar, the chorus was unbelievable, Michael Ballam even pulled off a very entertaining Alfred P. Doolittle. But...
The "but..." is the reason no one (except my former roommate Jess Wallace) enjoys watching live theatre with me. I had to wait till we were walking to the car to talk about how disappointed I was in Vanessa Ballam--you read that right, BALLAM--as the leading lady, and it nearly killed me to hold it in for that long. Well, I whispered to Lee at intermission and he agreed with me. I assume because he knows better than to disagree with me about music stuff. For all the hype I have heard about how talented she is, her voice was...terrible. Presumably she was over-singing because she was exhausted by the month of non-stop shows. Maybe her vocal technique is just bad, but it was like a caricature of an opera singer without the power and tonal quality of the real thing. I would have been okay with that in a community theatre production, but this is a professional production!!
I know I am pretentious. I hate when people mispronounce Notre Dame, I correct people who say "Multiple Personality Disorder" instead of "Dissociative Identity Disorder," and I am seriously offended by those jerks who show up to a play late and have the nerve to waddle in front of me like they deserve to sit down. I think that the lowest circle of Hell is reserved for people who don't turn off their phones at the theatre and talk during the overature.
Now, I realize that not everybody has the same prejudices as myself, but I am not very good at censoring my thoughts. So if you and I ever decide to go to a show, you knew what I was when you picked me up.