You've Been Warned.

I realized today that I am the worst person to go to the theatre with. Today Lee and I went on a double date to see My Fair Lady, a fine production by the Utah Festival Opera. Let me start by saying that I really enjoyed it. The orchestra was stellar, the chorus was unbelievable, Michael Ballam even pulled off a very entertaining Alfred P. Doolittle. But...
The "but..." is the reason no one (except my former roommate Jess Wallace) enjoys watching live theatre with me. I had to wait till we were walking to the car to talk about how disappointed I was in Vanessa Ballam--you read that right, BALLAM--as the leading lady, and it nearly killed me to hold it in for that long. Well, I whispered to Lee at intermission and he agreed with me. I assume because he knows better than to disagree with me about music stuff. For all the hype I have heard about how talented she is, her voice was...terrible. Presumably she was over-singing because she was exhausted by the month of non-stop shows. Maybe her vocal technique is just bad, but it was like a caricature of an opera singer without the power and tonal quality of the real thing. I would have been okay with that in a community theatre production, but this is a professional production!!
I know I am pretentious. I hate when people mispronounce Notre Dame, I correct people who say "Multiple Personality Disorder" instead of "Dissociative Identity Disorder," and I am seriously offended by those jerks who show up to a play late and have the nerve to waddle in front of me like they deserve to sit down. I think that the lowest circle of Hell is reserved for people who don't turn off their phones at the theatre and talk during the overature.
Now, I realize that not everybody has the same prejudices as myself, but I am not very good at censoring my thoughts. So if you and I ever decide to go to a show, you knew what I was when you picked me up.