Zombie Movies: Putting the "fi" in "Sci-fi"

At the recommendation of a trusted friend, I started watching a TV show called The Walking Dead. It's your usual zombie apocalypse, survival-adventure story with a lot of shot guns, complex rescue operations, RVs, and cliff hanger endings.

Watching the first episode, I was terrified. I wanted to crawl under a blanket in a bomb shelter with a stash of grenades. But, I began to analyze the the premise, as I do with all media that frightens me, and I found enough holes in the explanation to leave my bomb shelter and grenades behind me (not the blanket, it's cold) and continue watching with minimal anxiety. 

I thought it might be helpful to share my de-terrifying techniques with anyone else who is increda-scared of zombie movies, more specifically The Walking Dead.

1) What brings about the Zombie-ism? In this case, it's a fever that kills you, then brings you back as a mindless eating machine that is also rotting.

Question: If you come back to life, why are you rotting?

'Nother question: If you aren't alive that explains the decomposition, but how are you walking around eating things?

Fact: When vital organs cease to function (i.e. heart, lungs, liver) even mindless eating machines will cease to function and fall down dead. Brains NEED oxygen and blood to move a body, tell a body to eat, or anything else.

2) As demonstrated by a scientist our heroes find at the CDC (which is all but abandoned) the aforementioned fever brings back partial brain function. Specifically, only the brain stem is active.

Question: When only the brain stem is active, don't people need respirators to breathe?

More questions: A lot of predatory animals will eat the smaller of their species, even their own offspring. What stops the zombies from eating each other? How did the dietary needs of the human body change as a result of zombie-ism? They appear to be carnivores, even though the human body needs the vitamins and minerals provided by an omnivorous or even vegetarian diet. If these zombies are so "instinct driven" that they just attack stuff, why aren't their instincts telling them to eat fruits and vegetables?

3) In a few instances, The Walking Dead has demonstrated that zombies will eat deer, or rabbits in the absence of human prey.

Obvious question: How did a slow, clumsy, rotting corpse catch a deer or a rabbit or any other woodland creature? These animals are skittish and fast. They are able to escape apex predators like wolves, coyotes, bob-cats, and mountain lions. How was the deer unable to escape one zombie when a human with a limp or a hundred pound bag can outrun a whole hoard of them? I'm seriously bothered by this plot point.

I am not even going to examine this from a theological stand point; that would be overkill (pun intended). Suffice it to say there is no impending zombie apocalypse. If film makers weren't so desperate for a scientific explanation these days, they could always fall back on black magic and voodoo for how reanimated corpses suddenly crave human flesh. As long as you are going to utilize vague, implausible scenarios, go all out and at least make it less easy to pick apart. Ya can't fight voodoo with logic.

Halloween Party

 I am on a roll! Two blogs WITH photos in as many days! wOOt! Seeing as Lee and I were in a play which consumed our Friday evening, Saturday evening/night and Monday evening/night/early Tuesday morning, we had to celebrate Halloween on Sunday. I decided to throw a party that consisted of food and games, stuff I might do on Sunday anyway. The Halloween themed decor and costumes were an added bonus.

Here are the pumpkins we carved. Lee made Jack the Pumpkin King, I made an HvZ Zombie. You can't see that his brains are oozing out the top, but they are.

They also look fantastic all lit up!


Lots of people brought additional goodies, but here are all the treats I provided. I know, it looks amazing. It WAS amazing. We still have a lot of leftovers that may last until Thanksgiving when I have a new excuse to pie and brownies.

Lee and I were Hansel and Gretel. You can vaguely see the backs of Greg and Danie who were Finn from Adventure Time and The Marvelous Mad Madame Mim, respectively.

Lee borrowed the Liederhosen from our friend Jon, the Dirndl I am wearing was Grandmary's.







Here are friends Chelsie and Shalysse. Chelsie was a card board box, and she remained dedicated to her costume. She didn't get out of her costume to sit down, eat drink, or even to watch a movie. Yeah, she sat through the whole movie as a box. Shalysse is the heroine from Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds." Kudos for originality!

Rachel thought it was so funny to jump into this picture with us that she couldn't stop laughing. This was the least blurry version.

Here I am with former roommate Jess who is dressed up like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. This was snapped right before I swooped in and set the new record for bobbing for apples. I got my apple in 2 seconds flat. No one dared to challenge me after that. I did, however, manage to bit my lip in the process and now I have a large and rather painful sore on my bottom lip. Was it worth it? Yes.

That pretty much sums it up! I don't know if we got trick-or-treaters, we weren't home. I left a bucket of candy on the porch, but based on how much is left I am going to assume we didn't get any.