Watching the first episode, I was terrified. I wanted to crawl under a blanket in a bomb shelter with a stash of grenades. But, I began to analyze the the premise, as I do with all media that frightens me, and I found enough holes in the explanation to leave my bomb shelter and grenades behind me (not the blanket, it's cold) and continue watching with minimal anxiety.
I thought it might be helpful to share my de-terrifying techniques with anyone else who is increda-scared of zombie movies, more specifically The Walking Dead.
1) What brings about the Zombie-ism? In this case, it's a fever that kills you, then brings you back as a mindless eating machine that is also rotting.
Question: If you come back to life, why are you rotting?
'Nother question: If you aren't alive that explains the decomposition, but how are you walking around eating things?
Fact: When vital organs cease to function (i.e. heart, lungs, liver) even mindless eating machines will cease to function and fall down dead. Brains NEED oxygen and blood to move a body, tell a body to eat, or anything else.
2) As demonstrated by a scientist our heroes find at the CDC (which is all but abandoned) the aforementioned fever brings back partial brain function. Specifically, only the brain stem is active.
Question: When only the brain stem is active, don't people need respirators to breathe?
More questions: A lot of predatory animals will eat the smaller of their species, even their own offspring. What stops the zombies from eating each other? How did the dietary needs of the human body change as a result of zombie-ism? They appear to be carnivores, even though the human body needs the vitamins and minerals provided by an omnivorous or even vegetarian diet. If these zombies are so "instinct driven" that they just attack stuff, why aren't their instincts telling them to eat fruits and vegetables?
3) In a few instances, The Walking Dead has demonstrated that zombies will eat deer, or rabbits in the absence of human prey.
Obvious question: How did a slow, clumsy, rotting corpse catch a deer or a rabbit or any other woodland creature? These animals are skittish and fast. They are able to escape apex predators like wolves, coyotes, bob-cats, and mountain lions. How was the deer unable to escape one zombie when a human with a limp or a hundred pound bag can outrun a whole hoard of them? I'm seriously bothered by this plot point.
I am not even going to examine this from a theological stand point; that would be overkill (pun intended). Suffice it to say there is no impending zombie apocalypse. If film makers weren't so desperate for a scientific explanation these days, they could always fall back on black magic and voodoo for how reanimated corpses suddenly crave human flesh. As long as you are going to utilize vague, implausible scenarios, go all out and at least make it less easy to pick apart. Ya can't fight voodoo with logic.
Are these zombies meticulous in their dental hygiene? If not their teeth will rot and fall out, then good luck eating meat you sick bag of ex-human flesh with a brain stem functioning respiratory system. (Yes you would need a ventilator if that was all that was all that was working.)
ReplyDeleteWe at the CDC are excited for the zombie props, even if the special bunker in Atlanta turned out to be a death trap. I think you should relish your terror and stop picking on the poor Walking Dead. They have enough problems.
ReplyDeleteExcellent points, Claire. Another question would be once they've eaten, do they need to void any waste their bodies don't utilize from their meals? Or have zombies become the apex of evolution and do not produce waste?
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