I've already ranted about this once, but it was a long time ago. Last time I took a stab at Twilight, I used official looking charts and graphs. I wanted a visual aid to help readers understand the horror. I see now that my graphs, though entertaining, were not backed by any real research and are, therefore, not substantial enough evidence to support the claims I have long been making: That Twilight is a threat to society.
I have found a slightly more reliable source. I intend to prove my point using text from the book series itself. Everything you are about to see that looks like an excerpt from the book, IS! Everything that looks like someone inserted a comment or correction, IS EXACTLY THAT!! This may be a shocking experience for you. If there are children in the room, you may want to ask them to leave...but don't. They'll think this is funny too.
Meet Isabella Swan, our bubbly protagonist:
She is a very happy young lady.
She is also an independent and strong teenager.
She is, of course, very understanding of other people, their feelings, and often goes out of her way to help friends.
She is an astute observer of the world around her...
and she possesses a keen understanding of her own thoughts and feelings...
Meet Bella's boyfriend. His name is Edward. He is a hunk. And a Vampire.
Their first date was an unforgettable evening filled with romance.
They have a healthy respect for each other. Their relationship is built to last!
Edward has lots of hobbies to keep him busy...
Bella and Edward share a love that is true! They love being together.
This fantastical journey was brought to you by millionaire author Stephanie Meyer, and Dana, creator of Reasoning with Vampires. I think this quote more or less sums up this blogger's opinion of The Twilight series:
Very professionally done. I would agree the Wheelers from Return to Oz are much scarier than losing Edward Cullen.
ReplyDeleteSo when are you going to do an analysis of Catniss (what the heck kind of name is Catniss?) from the Hunger Games. Do your research now because the movie and all those screaming, heart swooning teen girls will be out in force come next spring.
Do you know what else is scarier than losing Edward Cullen? That dream where you're in a public place and you realize you're naked and no matter how many times you find clothes and get dressed you immediately find yourself naked again. Hate that one. Hate the one where your teeth fall out more though. There's a line in one of the twilight books where Jacob implies that Bella is an abusive teen relationship (it's supposed to be funny) but in fact I feel these books do depict a controlling relationship with a submissive female attitude as if it was normal...
ReplyDeleteJust think Claire, what you would have missed if I didn't play so much Mario bros. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is as close as I've gotten to Twilight--and as close as I'll ever get.
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