Barbie Names: Part One

I take a break from my usual format to bring you this special series of postings.

Many, many years ago, I was a small child visiting my uncle and aunt in California. They had a daughter a few years older than myself. She had a plastic little McDonald's Happy Meal bride Barbie. I coveted that Barbie.

A few months before coveting this Barbie, my father was diagnosed with Diabetes. As a small child, I had heard the word and had no idea what it meant or where it came from. For many reasons, some too convoluted to understand, I named that Barbie "Diabetes." I don't remember, but I assume I thought it was a beautiful name.

Inspired by that memory, I have collected a list of medical disorders and diseases that, I believe, a little girl like myself, would find to be a beautiful name for their Barbie. I present to you:

The Diabetes List:

(in no particular order; definitions complements of Online-Medical-Dictionary.org)

1. Alopecia- An absence of hair in areas where normally present.

(Ah-lo-pee-shuh)

2. Rosacea- An acneiform eruption occurring mostly in middle-aged adults and appearing generally on the forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin.

(Ro-zae-shuh)

3. Malaria- A protozoan disease transmitted by the bite of an infected female mosquito of the genus Anopheles. It is characterized by extreme exhaustion associated with paroxysms of high fever, sweating, shaking chills, and anemia.

(Mah-lair-ee-uh)

4. Jaundice- A clinical manifestation of hyperbilirubinemia, consisting of deposition of bile pigments in the skin, resulting in a yellowish staining of the skin and mucous membranes.

(Jawn-diss)

5. Anemia- A reduction in the number of circulating erythrocytes or in the quantity of hemoglobin.

(A-nee-mee-uh)

6. Melanoma- A malignant neoplasm derived from cells that are capable of forming melanin, which may occur in the skin of any part of the body, in the eye, or, rarely, in the mucous membranes of the genitalia, anus, oral cavity, or other sites.

(Mell-ah-no-muh)

7. Hernia- Protrusion of a loop or knuckle of an organ or tissue through an abnormal opening.

(Her-nee-uh)

8. Rubella- An acute, usually benign, infectious disease caused by the RUBELLA VIRUS and most often affecting children and nonimmune young adults.

(Rue-bell-uh)

9. Gonorrhea- Acute infectious disease characterized by primary invasion of the urogenital tract.

(Gon-or-ee-uh)

10. Hemophilia- It is an inherited disorder of blood coagulation characterized by a permanent tendency to hemorrhage.

(Hemm-o-fee-lee-uh)

11. Cholera- An acute diarrheal disease endemic in India and Southeast Asia whose causative agent is VIBRIO CHOLERAE. This condition can lead to severe dehydration in a matter of hours unless quickly treated.

(Kahl-er-uh)

12. Palsy- A general term most often used to describe severe or complete loss of muscle strength due to motor system disease from the level of the cerebral cortex to the muscle fiber. This term may also occasionally refer to a loss of sensory function.

(Paul-zee)

Stay tuned for my next installment of the Diabetes List. What aspect of the human existence will I pull appropriate sounding, inappropriate Barbie names from next?......