Life Lesson #11

Life Lesson #11: Netflix. No really, that's it. That is the whole lesson. Why did I wait so long for something that could bring me so much happiness?

Good Example: I recently signed up for Netflix.

Bad Example: I recently signed up for Netflix.

Video of the Week:

Barats and Bereta

This Video is one of my all time favorites. I laugh just thinking about it. If you didn't like my two previous videos, this one is completely different! I hopes you enjoy it!!

The Fellowship of the Burnetts

Life Lesson #10: Every time you watch a movie, it makes it so much more fun if you cast yourself and people you know as characters in that movie.

I've done this any number of times with my friends, but I've decided to try it with my family and that most epic of all epic motion pictures: Lord of the Rings. Please don't be offended by my casting decisions; it's just for a laugh!

Gandalf- Daniel Burnett. He is the oldest in the family, and therefore the wisest. Right? Understudy: Kimball Johnston

Bilbo- Duane Burnett. He's got great stories from his adventures in Samoa, and is fond of delicious, large meals. Understudy: Sonia Johnson

Gollum- Claire Burnett. Yes. You might ask, what am I coveting? Perhaps a degree...a movie...a guitar...an all powerful piece of jewelry...who knows? Understudy: Ian Sanderson

Frodo- Dirk Johnson. Might seem like a mild mannered individual, but I think he can do pretty much anything he puts his mind to! Understudy: Weston Johnston

Sam- Laura Johnson. She is sweet and caring but also tougher than tough. Understudy: Liam Sanderson

Merry- Elisabeth Sanderson. In our childhood, she and I were always pulling crazy shenanigans. Now she is all grown up and saving Rohan and the Shire and what not. Understudies: Cooper Johnston, Katie Burnett

Pippin- Claire Burnett. Yes, I double cast myself. Everyone will remember me as the wild and slightly foolish one who got into trouble and had to get dragged out. But remember all the cool grown up like stuff I did? I grew up!...Eventually...Understudies: Stella Burnett, Sophie Johnson

Aragorn- Matthew Sanderson. The strong, honorable, and nurturing type. He's a soldier, defending his country and healing at the same time. Understudy: Rivers Burnett

Boromir- This character can be the representation of all the various boyfriends and girlfriends we've had. They seemed fine at the time, but they turned out to kinda be whiner-babies and losers. I'm sure they turn out okay...eventually.

Legolas- Garrett Burnett. Useful in a battle (of the rhetorical sort) Something of a heckler from the sideline, and stunningly good looking. *insert cheesy emoticon here* Understudy: Jordan Burnett

Gimli- Allen Johnston. He is pretty tough, pretty awesome, and also good in a fight. Rhetorical or physical. He is also something of a heckler. Understudy: Wyatt Johnson

Elrond- Jamie Burnett. I think you are slightly psychic. Also, you seem to give wise directions.

Saruman- Julie Burnett. Okay, mostly this was for the hilarity of Julie and Dan having an epic, old man fight. They are equally matched in wise...ness and...beardy...ness? Understudy: Sarah Burnett

Galadriel- Sarah F. W. Burnett. Ridiculously wise--and witty--and beautiful, and probably slightly clairvoyant as well. Understudy: Olivia Johnston

Eowyn- Rebecca Johnston. Woe to any fella who thinks he can best this lady, she has the brain, the brawn, and the beauty. She will take them down. Understudy: Grace Johnston

Now go ahead and argue about my casting decisions by way of posting comments! I will contemplate making changes if you give me a good enough reason to...

Life Lesson #9: Cold Stone's ice cream is delicious. Especially the cake batter ice cream.

Okay I didn't learn this lesson recently, but I can't seem to forget it. I rather wish I could. My bank account would appreciate it if I did.

If you thought last weeks movie was weird, I can't wait to find out what you think of this one. But it is an entirely different brand of weird, so it might be your cup of tea. I like it.

Video of the Week:

A Vodka Movie

Life Lesson #8 and Video of the week #1

Life Lesson #8: You can't have your cake and eat it too.

example: I had a cake yesterday. I ate it. Now it's gone.

Okay, I made up that example. I didn't have a cake yesterday, but if I had, it would be gone today. I have decided that I will now be posting what I like to call Youtube videos. I will post my favorite videos that I find. You may like 'em, you may not, it doesn't really matter. I just want to share the joy I've found on the interwebs.

Video of the Week:

My Hands are Bananas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO10s_HK6d0&feature=fvst

Life Lesson #7 PART DEUX: I got the photos to actually work! Yay!

Life Lesson #7: A good prank takes a little spontaneity and a funny idea. A great prank takes a lot of planning, a once in a lifetime opportunity, and a brilliant idea.

Behold the result of months of planning! Come next week, a wedding announcement--featured here--will be on its way to Geneva Switzerland, where an unsuspecting Elder with a little over a month left will see photos of his friend/ex-girlfriend (Me) engaged to his former companion (Ben.)

The cheesiness and cliche nature of the announcement was intentional. I designed it myself, trying to make it nice enough to be believable, but bad enough to be...well, bad. If Kevin (the Elder) thinks my taste is that bad and doesn't notice that I'm not wearing a ring AND that I'm registered at a ridiculous number of places, then he deserves to be duped.

I'll tell him the truth, of course, but I could not resist this opportunity. Ben and I discovered this mutual acquaintance last fall and have been plotting this ever since. I consider this to be one of the crowning achievements of college years.

MST3K is short for Mystery Science Theater 3000, you guys.

Life Lesson #6: Don't judge an entire genre based on a small number of experiences.

Good Example: I don't really enjoy most romantic comedies, but I love Breakfast at Tiffany's, Hitch, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and a few other select winners. Rather than assuming all Chick-Flicks were as cliche as The Wedding Planner and 27 Dresses, I judged each film on an individual basis.

Bad Example: I have been in seven operas, but I had never sat down and watched one until tonight. From my three years of experience in the USU Opera Company, I had decided that I really didn't like Opera. However, after watching Gianni Schicchi tonight, I must admit I loved it and would gladly watch it again. It was so much fun and had such beautiful music, I really got into it and didn't even mind reading the super titles.

Lesson learned! I guess the majority of any art form is crap. Most movies are crappy--I've seen enough MST3K to know that--Most plays are crappy (cough cough JANE EYRE cough cough) and most songs are crappy. Shania Twain: Exhibit A. But there is really great and original stuff out there. There are great musicals, books, paintings, songs, operas, cartoons, TV shows, cartoons, poems, ballets, plays, and embroidered throw pillows. As long as you are willing to sift through a lot of crap, you'll find them.

I rather adore beer battered onion rings, mushrooms, and other veggies

Life Lesson #5: When you go into a bar and order water, the waitress looks at you weird. The other patrons look at you weirder.

Good Example: I went to the White Owl with a few friends for burgers in honor of my 21st Birthday, and people looked at us weird.

Another Good Example: I went to the White Owl with two friends during an opera rehearsal (I snuck out after my part was over. The Owl is next door to the theatre.) We got a basket of deep-fried heaven, and water. It was more crowded than on my previous visit. More people looked at us weird.

I am actually very fond of the White Owl. They play good music, they have good food, pool tables, and an upper patio (for when the weather is nice.) I recommend the Cardiac Arrest Basket to anyone over 21 who loves deliciousness. But make sure you share, or you really will suffer from Cardiac Arrest.

Life Lesson #4: You will never get homework done if you keep looking for ways to put it off on the internet.

Good Example: One fine Sunday, the internet at my apartment was down, and I was able to memorize a good portion of two of my recital pieces.

Bad Example: I spent a good portion of my day yesterday and a some time today watching episodes of Burn Notice I found online. I did no memory work.

I would like to point out that I did go to rehearsal and teach a lesson and attend class within this period of time. But I did also manage to spend three or four hours with an excellent television program.

What I got out of General Conference.

Life Lesson #3: If you are planning to stay awake for something, don't curl up in a squashy armchair, in your pajamas, with a fuzzy blanket.

Good Example: When I go to class, I sit in a terrible, hard, uncomfortable, right-handed desk. I take notes and readjust every few minutes to prevent my legs and hind parts from falling asleep.

Bad Example: When I watch General Conference, I roll out of bed and drag my warmest blanket with me. I then go to my favorite chair/couch and get as comfortable as physically possible. Movement is rarely necessary.

I stay awake during class. I have NEVER remained awake for all parts of all the four sessions of Conference that I watch. Lesson learned? I'll let you know in six months.

Life Lesson #2: If you plan to get anything done at any point in your day, do NOT start watching a new TV series on DVD. You won't stop watching. Ever.

Good Example: I chose not to watch Chuck one day when I needed to go to work and practice.

Bad Example: I chose to watch Glee on a day when I did need to practice before work, therefore I got no practicing done on that day.

So, I gave in and created a blog

I have never wanted a blog. I have never read a blog without being told to by an angry sister who either wants attention or comments (which amounts to the same thing.) I don't think I really have all that much to say. But I have learned a few--a very few--life lessons, and I learn more everyday. And maybe I will start sharing them with the world, as if no one else has learned them already.

Life Lesson #1: Never assume a strangers gender on the phone because of their name or the sound of their voice. Do not use titles like "sir" or "ma'am" until you have confirmed whether they are male or female. Or both. Somehow...

Good Example: Today I spoke to a person named Holly. Holly had a very low voice and a thick accent. I still do not know if Holly was in fact a man or a woman. I made sure not to reference Holly's gender at all throughout the conversation. This protected Holly from being offended and me from looking like an idiot. This is a win-win situation.

Bad Example: A few days ago, I spoke to a person with an unpronounceable, *unspellable name. I assumed that person was male. I asked whether "he" was available. The nice lady on the phone said that I was speaking to -insert said unpronounceable, *unspellable name here-. I felt embarrassed. Lesson learned.

I look forward to sharing more life lessons in the future if you are bored enough at work to continue reading!

*Note to the reader: I made this word up, I think. Or, rather, spell check thinks...